Crushing Their Dreams For Breakfast

Student, in the middle of class: "Do you think Tupac is dead?"

Me: (THE LOOK, loosely translated as "Is that cerebral cortex draining from your ear, or were you overzealous with your hair gel?")

Student: "No, really, do you think he's alive or dead?"

Me: "There is an entire world of old white ladies out there who still believe that Elvis is alive. At some point in time or other, you are just going to have to face the cold hard world. Tupac is dead. Las Vegas. 1996. Six days on life support. Cremation. There were quite a few witnesses to all of that."

Class (as though they have suddenly become a Greek chorus):
"But he keeps recording music."
"How could they be selling new CDs if he's dead?"
"He just commented on someone new who wasn't around until now."
"He's probably earning way more money pretending to be dead."

Yes, Virginia, Tupac is alive. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Tupac Shakur! Not believe Tupac is in hiding! I might as well not believe in fairies. . .